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Chapter 1 (continued)
Initiation and Competition
Numerous cultures have various initiation rites, or rites of passage into manhood. Most of these involve doing acts that demonstrate to other men the boy’s ability to meet external expectations through bravery, strength, endurance, or cunning. Nicolosi states: “Where there is a good fight [together] with the experience of acknowledgement, we have full masculinity and heterosexuality.”4(p41) One arena where a sort of initiation takes place is adolescent PEER GROUPS. Through the combination of putting down and building up, which is common in these groups, boys learn how to trust and respond to other men and to develop a resilience to peer aggressions and lack of consideration.4(p63)
In modern western culture competition in all of its forms is a significant part of acquiring masculinity.4(p31) It is not necessary that a boy win at everything he competes in but rather that he gains a sense of having competed sufficiently and that his efforts have been recognized and validated by other men as sufficient. Part of the importance of physical competition through games or sports is that the boy must engage his body in his relationship with other boys. Doing this over and over during childhood and adolescence provides the boy a stable way of perceiving his body in terms of its physical capabilities—which is the typically masculine way of viewing the body—and teaches him how to use his body in doing things with other men.4(p39)
The keen interest and curiosity that PRE-ADOLESCENT boys have in their own bodies may sometimes be expressed in pseudo-sexual behaviors, occasionally among groups of boys. According to one study, at least 20% of adult males have experienced sex at least once with another male. However, this study reports that only about 3.3% of adult males engage in homosexual behavior with much frequency after age 20.15(p338, 346-47) The majority of the pre-adult homosexual behavior may be viewed as an exploration of sexuality, rather than as expressions of homosexual attraction. However, some adolescents may assume that because they enjoyed these experiences they must be homosexual. This assumption may result from over-simplistic societal explanations of sexual orientation and demonstrates the importance of the ways in which individuals explain their experiences16(p101) But such male/male sexual exploratory behaviors are more accurately described as pre-heterosexual, meaning that the boys have sexual interest but have not yet discovered the eventual object of that interest.
The activities and tasks described above form the central psychological tasks of boys from early childhood through pre-adolescence. During this time their energies are spent on bonding with their same-gender peers. It is not until the boy has developed a sufficiently firm identity for himself, based on having attached sufficiently, that he is ready to take interest in the opposite sex.13(p105)
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PEER GROUP: in this context it refers to persons of the same age group and gender with which a given person interacts.
PRE-ADOLESCENT: the years just before onset of puberty (roughly ages 10 to 12 years).