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Chapter 4 (continued)
Boyhood Manifestations
This section will describe traits that are common among PRE-HOMOSEXUAL boys. These include emotional traits, atypical behaviors, and peer relationship problems. Problems in peer relationships may involve a tendency to isolate, feel inferior, perceive rejection from peers, and a resulting lack of masculine initiation.
Emotional Traits
Dependency is a common trait of pre-homosexual boys. Bieber writes that the family and peer situations described in chapter 3 can result in PATHOLOGICAL dependence on mother, among other things.17(p316-317) In his study, he and his colleagues found that about half of the homosexual group showed this type of dependency. Their findings related dependency to infantile treatment and interference with heterosexual activity by mothers and an excessive fear of injury in the sons.17(p205) A related trait revealed by their study is clinginess. Half of the individuals in the homosexual group were rated as “a clinging child,” while only 25% of the CONTROL GROUP was rated as such.17(p175)
Pre-homosexual boys may also see themselves as weak and passive in their relationships with other males.14(p59) This weakness was reflected in the Bieber study as “Frailty.” About 44% of the homosexuals considered themselves to have been frail in childhood. However, the health records of this group were very good, which leads Bieber to conclude that the self-assessment of frailty was not based on actual health concerns. Additionally, only a few of the homosexuals were considered to have been athletic or well coordinated as children. Bieber assumes that the lack of coordination comes from being anxious and tense out of fear of participating in competitive sports with other boys.17(p205)
Joe Dallas agrees.4(p173) Nicolosi describes another problem that many homosexuals experience in relation to their body. He says that “excessive modesty” begins in childhood and continues into adulthood. This physical shyness may be compensated for by exhibitionism or the desire to show off one’s body. Both of these traits represent an alienation from—or lack of natural acceptance of—the body. He writes that most homosexuals experience their bodies as an object, something somehow separate from them, rather than as a natural part of themselves.14(p65-67)
Another common trait among the homosexuals in the Bieber study was fearfulness, particularly fearfulness of being injured physically. Seventy-five percent of the homosexual group were considered “excessively fearful of physical injury in childhood,” compared to only 46% of the control group.17(p174-175) These boys are not inclined to participate in activities that they believe might be dangerous, though usually they grossly overestimate the danger.17(p316) Bieber related this fear of physical injury in childhood (in both the homosexual and control groups) with “mothers who were over-concerned about health and injury . . . [and] were socially restrictive and interfered with self-assertiveness and heterosexuality.” The fathers of these individuals “were mostly hostile and rejecting.”17(p204)
Joe Dallas suggests a fourth emotional trait of pre-homosexual boys. “The pain of growing up homosexual is the pain of being different,” he says. This sense of being different impacts the person’s development. They grow up convinced that they are different, that they are not on par with or not as valuable as their peers.5(Tape 1) Jeff Konrad adds that “the deepest root of homosexuality is lack of a sense of belonging.”15(p214-215) Bieber described such boys as “beset by feelings of inadequacy.”17(p316) In addition to feeling different, separate, and inadequate, pre-homosexual boys may see themselves as being without certain important assets that would come from a closer bond with other males, such as approval, attention, and someone to identify with.4(p111)
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CONTROL GROUP: in research, to determine the significance or function of a specific variable or trait, two groups are tested: a test group and a control group. The control group is as much like the test group as possible, except that it lacks the one variable or trait being tested.
PATHOLOGICAL: something that is abnormal or dysfunctional.12(p521)
PRE-HOMOSEXUAL: refers to a young person in the process of developing a homosexual identity.